( Cut for talk of memory and reminders, and being reminded of abuser )

( Cut for discussions of childehood sexual abuse, poor self image, self-injury, loss of control )

Been thinking, since the temp I've posted about before is in the office early today, and trying to figure out why I don't like him, why I don't trust him. Finally hit me. Nice. He's too damn nice. I don't trust nice people because they're the ones who hurt you the most. The ones you think might like you are usually the type to stab you in the back ( Read more... )

( Cut for running into a family member of my abuser, forgiveness, things i'll live with for the rest of my life because of abuse, an unsent letter. )

I am taking karate, and tonight was the first night of fall semester. Most of the people were new. There is this one guy in my class who seriously reminds me SO much of shane a guy that sexually assualted and harrassed me for three years. He doesn't look like him but he has the same cold and mean look and mannerisms as him. He kept giving me the ( Read more... )

( cut for self harm and mention of rape )

Sitting here at work now.....
She's sitting across from me chatting........ (this is a girl I find myself attracted to on a physical level. She reminds me a lot of my ex and not in a good way at all. )

I'm realizing....it really does strick a chord the comments she makes......

I realize she's joking......

And I can see from her myspace and the way she ( Read more... )

( Trigger Self Harm and Abuse )

It is around the holidays that I most miss family, the very people that put me through hell. In some ways the abuse doesn't stop even after you leave. No matter how you look at it I am still minus a family. The damage done when I was a child and young adult is difficult to even articulate, let alone process ( Read more... )

( Read more... )